The Enigma Variations
by K-chan9
Summary: Glimpses into the mysterious relationship between Inoue Orihime and Ulquiorra. Oneshot and drabble collection. Please read, enjoy and review.
1. I Looking

What...Ulquihime drabbles n' one shots?

...Yes. Don't worry I won't be distracted from Zetsu and Itachi (to a lesser extent). I just write these when I have spare time because let's face it: in the wake of some of the latest chapters these two are even more fascinating than the already were. Please read and review, feedback makes me happy.

xx

Looking

When she looked at him, as he entered in and out of her life in Las Noches, she always wondered what he must have been before he died. He was so graceful, collected and eerily silent, yet something had held this man. Something had made him a hollow.

When she looked at him while he wheeled in a tray, she imagined he must have been an entrepreneur who opened his own chain of restaurants. They were wildly successful because everyone loves Spanish food. But...he was on his deathbed when he found out his rival bought out his restaurant! That must have been it!

But, when she looked at him while he commented on the uselessness of her friends, when she could see thinly veiled anger on an otherwise unexpressive face, then she thought other wise. She imagined he must have been a successful pirate captain (it would explain why one of his eyes was so strange), with a high sense of nobility. Like a Robin Hood of the seas! Except one day his crew of pirates, whom he thought must have been as high minded as he...turned on him and threw him overboard! That must have been it!

However, when she looked at him as he bowed respectfully when he received orders from Aizen, her mind changed again. She imagined he must have been a samurai warrior who served a mighty lord. His loyalty was known across the land, and as in necessary for all heroes, he had a noble steed. One day he was seized by a band of thieves and...he died leaving his mission unfinished! That must have been it!

Even though her mind would often change, each of her fantasies, despite their colorfulness, consistently saddened her.

And when she looked at him as he stared at her while he faded away, she realized that all of her dreams were probably just dreams, and that he always just was what he was a sad, lonely man.

And this made her saddest of all.


	2. II The Heart

A drabble or oneshot a week, keeps Bleach not so bleak! More light-hearted fare this time around... Do R&R. My review box is lonely...

The Heart

It was one of those days that was just simple, and Orihime had been in dire need of a day without any complexity. She reclined back in her chair, contemplating if she could just take a nap and-

Knock, knock!

Dream of butterflies, lilies and ketchup and mayonnaise sandwiches-

Knock,knock, knock!

Which oh, by the way were delicious even if she was the only one that thought so-

Knock,knock,knock,knock!

She really wasn't going to get to take that nap was she? She peaked over the couch telling the persistent guest to come in. It was him (which caused her to inhale audibly... _so much for that nap_).

"Woman," he stated, "I have found an answer."

"Eh?" She tried to sit up further as he thumbed through a thick book.

"The heart, noun: a hollow muscular organ that pumps the blood through the circulatory system by rhythmic contraction and dilation. In vertebrates there may be up to four chambers (as in humans), with two atria and two ventricles. The conventional representation of a heart has two equal curves meeting at a point at the bottom and a cusp at the top. Also, a suite in the game of cards." He closed the book and looked at her for approval.

She sighed loudly and walked until she was only a few inches away from him. She smiled lightly.

"Sorry, your answer is incorrect, try again, Ulquiorra," she said quietly as she passed him to try and find a quiet place to sleep elsewhere, hoping soon he would win their little game and have the right answer.


	3. III Reactions

Reactions

Last one from me before I head into the rainforest for a month. Read, review and enjoy!

When Ishida heard, his only reaction was to look at the two of them with an expression that can only be described as muted horror.

He pointed at the former Espada aggressively, "You know he nearly destroyed my intestines by ripping a sword out of me...right?"

Ulquiorra merely noted that at least he had bothered to removed the pesky object and, with that Ishida fell silent in defeat, giving them what could best be called his "blessing"...a custom sewed sweater for Ulquiorra (little did the Espada know, the Quincy symbol was stitched inside the sleeve.)

When they delivered the news to Tatsuki, her eyes narrowed in suspicion as she gazed at Ulquiorra recalling their one meeting. Before Ulquiorra could react, he was doubled over in pain from a punch to the stomach.

"That was for calling me trash," Tatsuki declared, but then added with a small smile, "and there's more where that came from if you ever hurt her."

Orihime later thanked Ulquiorra for not evading or retaliating against Tatsuki's good intentioned jabs. Much to Orihime's surprise, Ulquiorra noted he had not been able to dodge the girl's well meaning assault.

When they appeared before Chad, always the most mellow, he merely extended his hand to a surprised Ulquiorra. Only Orihime could truly read the shock on his subtle features.

"Nice to formally meet you," were Chad's only words and that really was all they needed.

It took a bit of effort to find Rukia, but she was out being a dutiful Shinigami hunting hollows while Ichigo got ready for exams. It took quite a bit to get her attention, but when they did she dutifully listened to their full (well, Orihime did almost all the talking) explanation. For a while after, Rukia just gazed down at the ground stroking her chin. Orihime was beginning to think things had gone disastrously before Rukia smiled, telling her she'd be right back.

When she returned, she came back with the very first Ulquiorra chappy. Ulquiorra accepted the token curiously, noting to himself to ask Orihime if there was something seriously wrong with the cheerful Shinigami. Orihime just smiled as they left one of her closest (and most understanding) friends.

And somehow, all of the explanation in the world did not compare to the last person on their list, Ichigo. Maybe it was the fact that Orihime used to harbor feelings for the boy or maybe it was the fact the Ulquiorra had killed the boy on two separate occasions, either reason was a reason to avoid seeing Ichigo altogether, let alone both. But, since Ichigo was one of Orihime's friends and he was usually a very understanding fellow (he did befriend Nel after all), Orihime insisted they go see him. Ulquiorra maintained his usually stoic facade until Orihime gathered the courage to knock on the door of the Kurosaki household, and then he began to wonder if perhaps this was not the best way to go about this.

"Woman, should we not-" but his protests were too late as the door opened to reveal a puzzled Ichigo.

"Hey there Inoue, and- WHAT THE HELL?"

Perhaps, Orihime should have at least prefaced this arrangement with the fact that he was alive, but planning was not really a part of the girl's nature.

"Kurosaki," he said nodding acknowledging the boy's presence who was gaping at him like a fish.

"Ah, but you...and I! Err...," he turned to Orihime who merely gave him a nervous smile, "Uh...would you like to come inside?"

Ichigo nearly kicked himself, forgetting how very direct Ulquiorra was as he stepped inside of his home. He gulped, he was totally not ready for another showdown...at least not right in front of the fine china. Orihime peaked out from behind Ulquiorra still as jovial as ever, perhaps not noticing that a homicidal, socially-maladapted man had just entered his house. He was so glad Yuzu and Karin were out shopping.

"Ichigo, umm," she laughed nervously, "actually maybe we should sit down." It was this suggestion which caused all three of them to end up at his dining room table sipping tea. Ichigo watched Ulquiorra suspiciously as he sipped from his cup, exuding the same calm as always, and Orihime, in contrast, seemed to be a nervous wreck.

"Ichigo, how should I explain this well-" she twiddled her thumbs anxiously, "you know how sometimes when you're baking, and you're just throwing things in there, and sometimes even though everything's really different; it tastes delicious, like peanut-vinegar cookies?"

Ulquiorra sipped his tea and Ichigo looked visibly pained, "Inoue, I've never baked, and that sounds terrible."

"Oh...or how about when your picking flowers, and one of them is kind of strange looking, but when you put it in a flower arrangement you think...hey, that's really nice! I should try that more often?"

Ulquiorra sipped his tea and Ichigo's face grew more pained, "Inoue, I've never picked flowers before, and I don't get-"

"OK! OK! Well, how about when you're sewing and, there are patterns that you always liked so you always use them. But one day, you see a really unique pattern and you try it, and you really like it so, you keep on using it forever until you don't even know where your old pattern is anymore!"

Ulquiorra sipped his tea and Ichigo's face grew upset, "Inoue, I am not in Hanidcrafts Club, and I can't even sew a button."

"OK...Well-"

Ulquiorra stopped sipping his tea, and Ichigo's face grew scared from the intense glare being shot his way from the Espada's direction.

"What the woman is trying to impart and, that you cannot seem to grasp Kurosaki, is that I have an interest in her and she in me. We will soon begin having relations weather you like it or not. She insists on such a formality, I however, find your input unnecessary."

Maybe it was Ulquiorra's gaze or maybe it was the fact the he was realizing this could not be a joke with the way Inoue's eyes darted shyly to the floor as the man spoke or maybe it was a combination of these things...either way, Ichigo fainted.

Ulquiorra was kind enough to move Ichigo to the couch (but, only after Orihime asked him.) They both sat patiently waiting for him to come to, though Ulquiorra did make a remark about fainting being a characteristic of trash, which caused Orihime to give him a scolding, but playful kick.

Ichigo on the otherhand was wondering what he had eaten that made him have a dream in which he, Inoue and Ulquiorra had a very lovely tea party. Upon opening his eyes and seeing the fourth Espada and a concerned Inoue, he recalled the reality of it all. He slowly sat up gazing at the both of them, trying to come up with something meaningful to say. Somehow all the learning in the world, didn't prepare you for a moment like this.

"You both KNOW this is a psychological disorder right?"

But somehow when he saw the way they looked at each other, now and before that bastard died, he knew that just was not true. He sighed utterly defeated, and placed his hands on his dear friend's shoulders.

"Just be happy Inoue," he said offering her a smile to which he received an earth shattering hug. Despite his reservations, seeing her smile like that made it all worth it, and somehow he knew despite the insanity of it all, it would be alright.

After a few parting words, the pair set off to leave with Inoue thanking him again for being understanding, but then again with Ulquiorra around, was there really any other choice? But as he watched Inoue shyly slip her hand into his former enemy's and the Espada's features change to something that could only be described as contentment, he began to be pleasantly surprised at the slow change coming over the man.

Well not as surprised as happened next, when Ulquiorra turned directly to him and stated, "Kurosaki,"the former Espada smirked slightly, "thank you for the tea."

:D HAPPY! As when I get back to Costa Rica, the next two I have written aren't so happy. : ( I'll break them up with something like this though (yay!)


	4. IV Tanabata

Hey everyone. This was my entry for the Tanabata Contest held by Bleach Asylum's UlquiHime FC. I thought I should post it here too for your enjoyment. Happy Tanabata! :D

Sometimes he wondered if the woman had some kind of bewitching power. It was the only way it could explain how after declaring her nakama mortal enemies, getting beaten to a pulp and then subsequently being reduced to ash meant ending up in her apartment. But, most of his life, he supposed, did not make all that much sense to an outsider. He awoke this morning to a peculiar smell coming out of the kitchen arising from several different spices, some of which he was not sure were not meant to fit together. But then again, he probably was not supposed to fit in here either. Funny, how the world works.

What time was it? The woman never got out of bed for breakfast. Had he miscalculated and slept to long? The caw of Orihime's cuckoo clock, perhaps one of the few signs of the eclectic nature of the apartment's owner, jarred him. Forcefully shoving the damned bird back into it's compartment, he read 9AM. Ah, then this was a bit strange, but the woman was so energetic, perhaps she didn't even notice her deviation from pattern.

"Woman," he called quietly from where he leaned on the entry to the kitchen, "are you ill?" She seemed too engrossed in whatever she was stirring to even regard him. She wondered if she even heard him at all. "Woman?"

Suddenly, she jumped and acknowledged him, but her reaction was not what he expected. She was the only person who seemed to react to him with no fear, but he saw panic in her eyes as she ran up to him, trying to block his vision.

"Ah, Ulquiorra," she just about squeaked, "up so soon." She laughed nervously and scratched her head. "Why don't you uh," she looked around the room panicked, "go get me some sugar, yeah!" She all, but shoved him out of the room. She would have felt worse if she hadn't known he must've let her do so.

"I must inquire as to your ailment," he said, wondering if she was a bit pale, "as you appear to have a full container of sugar on the counter." She looked over her shoulder, panic returning along with those irritating nervous giggles.

"Yeah," she looked at him sheepishly, "there's a bug in it." He stared at her exasperated.

"I can remove it, if you let-"

"No! Go to the store. Money's on the desk, okaythanksbye." And just like that bewitching craft that caused him to stay at her quarters in the first place, he found himself unceremoniously shoved on the porch with the door slammed behind him. His green eyes stared blankly at the wad of yen in his hand and then back at the door. What a strange, strange woman.

As he walked the streets, he noticed they were distinctly more crowded than usual. He was not sure if he had even gone out before without Orihime or one of her rather annoying friends accompanying him. Certainly the store couldn't be too far, and why were all of these people in the street? Surely they knew that traffic had to come through here. Now that he was observing, he was starting to notice stalls and booths on the sides of the street that he'd never noticed before, and even though the humans were typically much more colorful than he could stand, they seemed to be more so today. Also, he was not quite sure if this sudden change of scenery meant that the path to the store had also changed. Perhaps this was much like Aizen's altering pathways in Hueco Mundo. But, all the sonido in the world couldn't save Ulquiorra from the kid who barreled into him.

"Ouch!" the little girl wailed as she plopped to the ground after ramming into him. Even in this life he was granted tough skin. He looked down at her eyebrow slightly raised, but hand outstretched to help her up unwilling to brave the scene that would've resulted if he hadn't done so.

"Thanks, mister," she said getting to her feet, "oh and, Happy Tanabata!" Before he knew it he was wrapped in the tiniest little hug before she continued her frolicking rampage.

_The hell_? Though he tried not to show his shock on his face. He'd better just get to the store and get the devil out of there, especially if this holiday meant humans became more deranged than they already were. It was as if the woman's colorful personality and strange magic had infected the entire town. He knew she was strong, and never should have doubted her abilities. But this...this was new.

"Excuse me," he asked the nearest stall owner, "you wouldn't happen to know if the path to the H-mart has altered?"

"What."

"I asked if the H-mart is still located two blocks north of here."

"Yes. Why wouldn't it be there?" And Ulquiorra really wasn't sure of the answer to that, but if everything else was odd, it was always best to be cautious. He stalked towards the store, ignoring the happy couples, the annoying amount of bamboo for sale and lots, and lots of tiny slips of paper littering the ground or dangling from stalks. He did not know Tanabata meant "license to create lots of trash day." Trash creating trash, why that almost made him chuckle. Chuckle? Damn that woman...

He eventually made it to the store and meandered the aisles looking for sugar. He never really understood the insistence on making hundreds of versions of the same product, but he supposed it was because people were so picky about their food, remembering how Orihime had recoiled from most of the meals he brought her in Hueco Mundo. Ah, there was the sugar.

Ulquiorra sighed as he shoved it into the bag after he paid the cashier. He was reduced to running errands, and glad Grimmjow was not around to see it. On his way back, he snaked his way through more crowds of excited people, but was not nearly knocked over by anymore frantic children. For this, he supposed, he should be grateful. But, seeing all of the humans celebrating, made him wonder why the woman remained in her house. This seemed like something she would enjoy.

When he finally had made his way back to the house, he knocked on the door loudly.

"Woman," he called a bit impatient, "I've procured your sugar." Her heard her footsteps in the house and the creaking of the locks as she began to open her door. Eventually, she popped her head out, eyeing the bag in his hand.

"Oh wow," she said, smiling, "you really got it." He looked at her confused. Did she think he would not? He stepped into the house offering the bag to her before following her into the kitchen. He watched her set it down next to the sugar he noticed from earlier. His eyes turned to her asking for an explanation, which she didn't give and she instead began busying herself with something in the oven.

"Woman?" He was being ignored, which even before he'd died had always caused him annoyance. A different approach then.

"Why are you not outside prancing about with the other humans?" He returned to his usual position in her house, leaning on the wall and glowering at something, but this time it was her.

"It's Tanabata." She responded, like that was supposed to explain everything.

"Yes," he said recalling his encounter with that idiotic child, "A child told me." She giggled at this, though if she'd been there, she would understand how very unfunny it was. He didn't give her any response except to continue to pierce her with his gaze. She sighed.

"I always used to celebrate with my brother. We'd go to the festival. It was fun," he waited for her to continue, "but ever since he died, it just makes me sad. Because I always am alone now." She looked down nervously, it was probably more than he wanted to hear.

"I'm here," he said feeling inclined to bring this obvious fact to her attention and unsure why his heart stung when she was like this. All part of this strange spell she'd been weaving on him since he first saw her.

"I know," she said, and then her face lit up with a smile, "that's why I made this!" Then she jerked whatever she'd been brewing in her oven out for him to see. He resisted the urge to choke as he was face to face with the most lopsided cake he'd ever seen complete with what he assumed was the woman riding a giant bat in the corner.

"I thought, we could write our Tanabata wishes on it with ketchup!" she said, brandishing the bottle, "it'll be delicious."

He paused, trying not to think about how awful this was going to be and remembered the bamboo and paper littering the streets. Perhaps, this was beginning to make sense.

"But, don't the other human write their wishes on paper attached to bamboo?" This was his quiet way of attempting to escape his culinary fate.

Orihime looked away. "That's how I celebrated with my brother," she said, sadness coming back to her, "but that's why I wanted to start something new with you! Maybe it will catch on!" He seriously doubted that, but even so she began sawing viciously into the cake with her knife, cutting two clean pieces and then handing him a ketchup bottle.

"OK," she said, a bit nervously, "write your wish!"

Why in the world was he doing this? However, it only took remembering how sad she had become before to make him want to prevent it happening again. Technically, he was still her protector. Her well being was part of his job description, but he began to wonder when he started caring about her feelings.

"OK! What'd you wish for?" she asked happily. Ah...he hadn't written anything yet.

"You should go first woman," he suggested trying to keep the blank cake out of her eyesight. Perkily, she nodded in response. At least she was easy to distract.

"I wished for everyone to have a happy, villain free year, and for Urahara to give everyone free snack for a month." Ulquiorra's lip curled into a half-smile. Knowing her friends' track record, both parts of her wish were unlikely. He also noted that this must mean she did not think of him as her enemy anymore, but he was never sure she ever did. She smiled indicating it was his turn.

"My wish was far simpler," the woman nodded for him to go on, "it was for this holiday to be more pleasant for you." Her eyes widened. "It seems entirely in your character to want to be out there frolicking with the rest of the humans. It would be...strange for this behavior to continue much longer." Her eyes flashed with something he wasn't sure he could identify before she all but screamed, "That's so nice of you!"

Nice? Was it? He was just stating facts...wasn't he?

"Can I change my wish? Now I feel silly," she said, scratching her head.

"I don't think that's within the rules."

She pouted, before turning to eat her cake. She smiled as she tasted it, exclaiming that it was yummy. He supposed this was going to be the worst part of his day. Inwardly wincing, he took a bite of her bizarre concoction, who knew what was in the batter and...it was surprisingly good. It wasn't long before his plate was clean. When he looked up, she was smiling at him in a way he'd never seen before.

"Happy Tanabata, Ulquiorra."

"You too," he said, offering her a slight raise of his upper lip, "Orihime."

XXxxx

And then they held hands, the end. :D

Just kidding, but do R&R if you enjoyed and I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited or alerted this collection. It makes me smile. I 3 ya'll!


	5. V Poem

The Vol. 40 poem is responsible for this oneshot! If you haven't I encourage you to read it.

It was rare these days that Ulquiorra actually had time to spend with her. Even when he made his intrusions into her life, she could never really turn him away. His presence was comforting in a way. And so, it was here they found themselves at one of those rare times sitting across from each other sipping tea.

Even though she was sure he would never admit it, Ulquiorra liked tea. Anytime he would appear, shortly after doing his equivalent of small talk, which usually involved him inquiring after her health, he would immediately move to procure teacups, even if there was other food available. She had once placed a cookie jar in his line of sight, just to see if it would change his pattern, but Ulquiorra was a creature of habit, and ignored the jovial ceramic turtle and its contents, much to Orihime's dismay.

So like his other rare visits, they sat drinking black tea. He was never a person of many words, but he visited just the same. Ulquiorra stared at Orihime, who sipped from her cup humming to herself, a small smile ghosting across her lips. He knew, somehow, that he was not sure if he could stop his visits, even they were not always in his best instruments. The orange of her hair, her range of expressions, and her fearlessness of him, it was all so fascinating. So fascinating, he was becoming unsure of how to go on for long without seeing her. He would always find in wonder at her smile, her determination, her faith. Ever since their time in Las Noches, some part of him had come undone and he knew, that he in all his strength, needed her. But he wondered, while he watched as she glanced up from her teacup to smile at him, what did this dependency mean?

Orihime was taken aback by the expression, though few would recognize it, on the arrancar's face. His face remained outwardly impassive, but his eyes had become more distant than usual even as they appeared focused on her. It was as if she was seeing straight through her. She shifted uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

"Ulquiorra?" she called breaking the silence, scratching her head nervously. His green eyes seem to regain a bit of their focus. "Is something bothering you?"

It was his eyes that always spoke to her. He seemed to fully regard her now; his gaze quickly averted to the cup where his hand rested before darting back to her. Why was he hesitating? It was then she saw his eyes speak again, and this time with realization.

"Orihime," she jumped at hearing, her name, but he returned her surprise with a stare of calm recognition. His eyes spoke before he verbalized anything, but she found she did not know read what they were signaling.

"I lust for everything about you."

And much to Ulquiorra's dismay, Orihime promptly fainted.

XxxX

*Sighs* Bless you Tite Kubo. Bless you.


	6. VI Doubt

Yeah, I know. It's been a while. Thank the anime, and a sudden willingness to type. I wrote this in a quick, inspired frenzy. I hope its readable. Even though this is supposed to be set to the Enigma Variations, most of it was actually written to symphony arrangement of Dancing Mad (especially movements 1 and 4).

Even with the explosions cascading around them and the sinking feeling in her stomach, Orihime knew she had to make it to the top of the tower. She worried about her friend, and thought maybe, just maybe she could get_ him_ to listen to her.

Before Ichigo had appeared, the look he gave her as she spoke, was one of intense scrutiny. She couldn't think of the last time someone had looked at her that way, or if someone had ever looked at her that way. Someone trying earnestly to grasp at the true meaning of her words, and her way of knowing. She hoped she had read the right feeling in those eyes. His hope, longing, and trying to understand her faith in her friends, her unwillingness to break, and her inability to despair. He could have harmed her then, but she knew he would not, at least not until he understood. She had been in no direct danger then, but Kurosaki-kun could not have known that. To him, he was just another one of the Espada, but he was different wasn't he?

"Ishida-kun," she spoke softly, "can you use your powers to carry me up to the top of the roof?" There was still a chance.

Ishida's face showed his reluctance despite the fact that he agreed to her request. Through some masterful training, Ishida had developed some sort of energy platform which began its rapid ascent towards their destination. Part of her must have known something was far more wrong than she suspected as soon as the darkness descended. Crushing everything. Blanketing the outside. Suffocating. She knew precisely from whom it had come.

Could she really reach through this darkness and truly make him understand what she hoped he sought? Surely, she was not mistaken. The conversation they had before Kurosaki-kun arrived had meant something, hadn't it? There was something more to him, there had to be something more to _him._ Surely, he would listen and surely he could be stopped, right?

Suddenly all of her concerns were forced to cease because they had arrived, and immediately she realized this situation was perhaps beyond her control. His eyes quickly connected with hers, and as she stared, she wondered if she ever understood him at all. His mere presence felt as if it were dragging her and the world into sorrow.

"So you came, woman." She stiffened. Her eyes widened as she took in the scene before her with Kurosaki dangling from Ulquiorra's tail brutalized, but somehow alive. This couldn't be...this couldn't. She stepped forward, her eyes gazing into his.

"Perfect timing."

_No. _

"Watch carefully."

_Please. _

"The man to whom you entrusted all your hope is about to die."

_Please just let them be wrong about you._

"...Don't!"

But somehow as soon as she looked into his eyes and at what he had become, and perhaps what he had always been, she knew she was wrong; she finally felt what he had always wanted her to feel...true despair.

I'm mean sometimes. But at this point of the manga, everybody kinda was. I'll probably be back sooner than you think, most likely to edit this.


	7. VII Recollection

I'm sure you guys are like what the heck is this? The author isn't dead. Yeah…Yeah. No comment. Read, review (please!), enjoy. If you like, read my other stories too- everything is getting some update love from me. 7 more variations to go. Spoilers for current arc.

xxxx

VII Recollection

Sometimes things happen when they are least expected. And, even as the chain of events are set in motion, the notion never occurs to stop or exit. It was in this vicious cycle that Orihime found herself trapped. It began with the sudden attack on a soldier, a child honestly, from Soul Society, and barreled forward with the revelation of an all-out assault on Hueco Mundo.

If anyone asked her, she would supposed she felt compelled to go, to follow Urahara and the others through the Garganta. It felt strange to be returning willingly to her prison, but stranger still to be left behind. Who could protect them, if she stayed? She, who was supposedly all powerful.

_A hand disintegrating into ash…_

But sometimes, not when it mattered.

She supposed the reality of her situation hit when her feet touched the white sand under the endless night. The devastation began to hit as she assessed the damage, felt the absence of spiritual presence and saw the bodies littering the sand. Despair began to creep into her soul. But, why despair? Should she not be happy that karma had done its work? But, she knew the Arrancar did not deserve this, especially some of them.

She nibbled on her lower lip, as if trying to physically hold in the emotion filling her. She shuffled from side to side, keeping her body busy even if it was only just camouflage so the others dismissed it as her typically hyperactive personality. Even if she was feeling, recalling her time here, she made sure they could not know. She would not be a burden not again. She would try and protect them- she had to because she was powerful.

_Are you afraid of me woman?_

She was not afraid, but there was a pit at the bottom of her stomach. A sense of forbidding of what was about to come. The redhead knelt down and felt the sand slip through her fingers, much as he had slipped right through hers. The look in his eyes at the end, had he found what he was searching for?

She was never afraid of him either, but there was a pit at the bottom of her stomach. A sense that maybe one day she would have to share in his despair. But, he had found hope at the end, or at least she hoped he did. It was the only consolation she had that she had not completely failed him. That even though she wished, and even though she was powerful, he may never be coming back.

_In my hand, the heart._

If she had succeeded, would he have come with them or would he be among the dead lying at their feet? Would he lie in a Soul Society prison or would the Quincy hold him captive? She wondered if this would cause him distress, or if he would remain as unreadable as ever in any of these situations. Orihime knew seeing his body now would cause her distress, but maybe, since she was powerful, she could have brought him back.

Instead of letting him slip through her fingers, like the sand. Like her thoughts, and the days leading up to her return to this desert. It was all starting to feel like a memory now.

It only took a violent attack from the Quincy to remind her that the fear she felt here was real, not imagined or dreamt. The despair she felt was real. But, that man, Ulquiorra had forced her to be strong, to defy and to overcome.

She stood up to Kirge, and defended the others, because she knew was strong. They said she was powerful, but, she did fail sometimes. Her fairies shouts of panic as her shield began to disappear under Kirge's onslaught rang through her ears. But, she wouldn't give in. Part of being powerful was making mistakes. Part of becoming strong and being brave was the risk of losing, sometimes things or even people you cared about. Even if you did not realize how much you cared at the time…even if you were just fully realizing its true value in the present.

If there was anything she learned in this wasteland long ago, it was how to overcome. And thus, she stood firmly rooted under her decaying shield, strong.

xxx

Getting back into the swing of things. Hope you enjoyed.


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